The past couple of days have been pretty good. I've kept a really good schedule of staying up from when Julia gets up until just after she falls asleep for the night. And I have to say that I love it. I absolutely love waking up and spending some personal time with my baby girl just me and her. She captivates me every day more and more; without her my life is nothing.
As far as my home life it's going pretty well, getting cleaning done regularly, laundry, daily routines are finally being formed since Jules is actually in a schedule now. But as for my personal life, it's empty :/ I'm hoping to change that soon with attending school, but honestly you just have no idea. Idk what's going on with my personal life or lack thereof anymore. I'm still trying to find work. I'm still trying to get my money coming in and it's just one dead end after the other :(
I seriously just can't wait until I'm in my classes and working a part time job to start feeling more independent. It's been over a year since I've been completely dependent on my parents and it's killing me. Because of no support I have no phone, no way to pay for Julia's necessities or my bills. NOTHING. He's just one huge asshole that doesn't give a damn what happens to his daughter. No correction, MY daughter. Because his other daughter he'd be damned if she had to go without. It just makes me want to smash his face into the concrete. If I could do that and not have any consequences to it, believe me, I would.
Ugh, I just don't even know if it's worth it anymore because NOTHING ever happens.
.... You know what's really sad? Is when you really miss someone, but if you were to start getting close like you once were with that person, everything would fall apart and drama would start. I hate that. I don't understand why I can't just be friends with whoever I want to be friends with yanno? I just... I miss how my life used to be, I just wanna take Julia back in time with me and keep her in my old life where I had my complete independence. I don't know why I'm in this funk right now.
I'll write more later when I can make sense of everything.
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