I never thought that I'd be here. The beginning of 2010, pregnant and single without a dime to my name. I've had so many ups and downs this past year where the ups were higher than any skyscraper in New York City and the downs were deeper than the deepest part of the ocean. I've cried so many tears and laughed very little. I lost everything I had.
I had the most amazing job, as a preschool teaching assistant where the kids loved me and my co-workers didn't hate me. I got decent pay and benefits. While working at this job I had a car of my own and lived with a truly amazing friend and her kids. I had everything, I was a completely independent woman and didn't need anyone to help me.
It might sound silly, but I loved going grocery shopping for things I needed, I loved doing laundry when my clothes got dirty. Most of all, I loved the company of my friend and her children. I guess since no one knows about this blog, and on top of that it's my one safe haven from everyone I know, names can actually go into this thing. The friend I lived with was Maria, and her two kids were Chloe and Junior. They were once my everything. My best friend, and the two kids I called my niece and nephew. But after a year... I don't even know who they are.
To say the short version of the story, because I don't feel like rehashing every miserable detail of it, this is how 2009 played out. But I guess it all started December of 2008. It started with a man named Taurus. The guy I ended up falling for, marrying and leaving everything behind for. I don't know what I was thinking, but from December to February we dated and had our fair share of problems. Then I broke things off after a totally sucky beyond sucky Valentines day.
A month went by and he supposedly "cared" and wanted me back. So I gave him another chance the last weekend of March. Only to find out on April 1st that his ex was one month pregnant with his kid. Meaning he waited all of two weeks before going out and boning the ex he resented for so long.
Now here is where I look like a complete and utter idiot. April 11th of 2009, we got married. Yup, you read that right whoever you are, we tied the not and made a ball and chain. Which literally is how it feels. So, I put in my two weeks notice at my amazing job and gave my car back to my parents. Taurus had bought me a car that I was supposed to use, and it was actually a really nice car, I kinda miss it - Lol.
Oh, back tracking just a little, Taurus is in the Marines and was being stationed in Camp Pendleton, California.
So, the first two weeks out in California we stayed with a friend of mine I'd known since 5th grade. And those two weeks were amazing. At least to me, we were happy and actually tried. But once we got our own apartment... everything changed and he started ignoring me. Coming home and going straight to video games or tv. I'd make dinner and even go sit next to him while he's playing his damn games to eat instead of at the table. And he wouldn't even eat what I'd make.
The car he got me broke and I couldn't drive it until we could afford to fix it, but he wouldn't let me drive his car that I'd driven a million times before we had gotten married. He refused to put me on his bank account or make a joint account so he could put money in for me to pay the bills or go grocery shopping.
He wouldn't even let me do the shopping on my own. We'd go to get groceries and when I'd ask what he would want me to make for him, he'd simply say "You get what you wanna eat, and I'll get what I wanna eat". Needless to say, he never ate anything I'd cook for him.
I'd try and talk to him, I'd try and communicate but he'd refuse and just stare at me like he didn't even understand the language coming out of my mouth. The weekend before mother's day, I found out I was pregnant. And instead of acting excited about the fact that we would be welcoming our first child into the world and start a family all he said was "So you're knocked up too?" - Remember that his ex is pregnant too.
On top of all of this the only attention he'd give me was, of course, when he wanted sex. And he never made me feel like it was love, just a fuck. How great of a husband is this? For the cherry to top it all off, his ex would call and talk to him as if being with him was negotiable - Even though he was married. To me. But regardless of that fact, he'd indulge her and actually talk to her about it.
The final breaking point was a night when I was once again crying my eyes out begging for him to talk to me, to hold me, to comfort me and let me know that he was there for me. Do you want to know what it is that he did? He stood across from the bed leaning on my dresser and stared at me with a smirk on his face. Like he was getting pleasure from my pain. It took him two and half hours before he even came and sat next to me. When he did, he sat three or four inches away and said, "You gonna stop crying now?". What a keeper I picked out, right?
Well, one thing lead to another and I came home and told him I wanted a divorce. Once again, it didn't take him long to move on to another woman, even though he claimed that I was the only one he had wanted. Three and a half months later, I found out he not only had a new girlfriend, but that she was three months pregnant and saying it was his.
So much had happened with getting him to send me spousal support because no one would hire a pregnant woman. And he would either send it two weeks late or not send it at all until finally his lieutenant grew tired of his games, actually believed what I was saying, and set up direct deposit into my account.
So where am I now? Living at my parents house, with no job, no income, no car and definitely no man to stand beside me. I'm 38 and a half weeks pregnant and determined to make sure that Taurus doesn't get any type of custody what so ever. He has done nothing but cause me heartache and misery, and he's done it on purpose. Not to mention that committing adultery is a pretty big no no in the marine core.
Because of everything that happened with him, I lost my two best friends Maria and Meg. And I have to watch my every move to make sure he doesn't try and twist it all around and make me out to be the horrible person that HE is and I am NOT. For some reason, all the friends who were mutual friends, took his side over mine.
Even though it still gets to me sometimes, I'm just missing what used to be. Because right now, I finally have the only friends that I really need. Phil, Brandi and Kim. It may seem like very few, but to be honest that's the most friends I've had since summer last year. For the longest time the only person I had was my mom. And I'll love her more and more every day for everything that she's done for me.
Well that kinda ties up the short version of what happened with Julia's sperm donor of a father. Oh, haha, by the way - I'm having a little girl and naming her Julia Lynn Watson. Watson is my last name. Not his. This is kinda where it begins in order for you to get anything else I write. I'll write more later on.
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