A lot of people worry too much. What if I don't make enough this paycheck? What if she doesn't love me? Will I be good enough at this job I just landed? Should I move? Should I let him in? Question after question just keeps bombarding your mind and soon enough you don't know how NOT to worry anymore.
I've been there. Worrying so much about so many of the most insignificant things that life itself just passed me by. In the blink of an eye, my daughter turned two. My marriage was destroyed, my friendships were lost, family was turned into enemy. And all for what? My pride? Maybe. Or was it because I was constantly worrying too much about what other people would think, was it because too many days I spent worrying about pleasing all my friends or family or co-workers that I forgot, occasionally I need to be selfish? Ya, I'm pretty sure it was that one.
Most people, men and women alike, go through this life, obsessed with over thinking, planning, analyzing and just focusing far too much attention on the future. The days that are coming or the days that have passed. Not enough of us focus on the day that we're living in or the moment we're currently experiencing.
Granted I completely understand wanting to think about the future and planning ahead, it's natural to want to be prepared for a number of things. But putting all of your energy into not making mistakes or consuming all of you time and energy with thinking about what you want to do for the next 5-10 years is entirely ludicrous. No one, anywhere, could possibly plan anything.
You could always think about the things that you'd like to get done, but LIFE happens. Plans change and there's nothing that anyone can do about it. You have to remember that God woke you up this morning. You have to keep the understanding that you were given a miracle when you opened your eyes to see another day. Most people take these simplicities for granted unless they've seen death themselves. Tomorrow is most certainly NOT guaranteed. Today is all you have, and the more that you view it that way, the more that you'll realize what's important.
Now, am I saying that it's silly to make plans or have goals? Not at all. Having goals and dreams are great things to have and give us all a sense of sincere accomplishment whenever it is that we reach our goals and achieve our dreams. But you can't plan out the journey on how you get there. All you have is where you are and where you want to be. Everything in between on getting to your destination is a mystery that only God knows.
I'm still learning. I'm still growing as a woman and a human. God is molding me into the person that I know He wants me to be. But there are only so many things in this life that we can control. Our happiness is definitely one of them. If you choose to be in a good mood, to accept the things that you cannot alter, you'll find yourself in a state of comfort. It's a lot easier to accomplish your tasks in every day life if you hold the demeanor of a positive attitude.
A friend once told me that being a pessimist was ruining my life. That it was slowly killing me. She was right, to a certain extent. Constantly being negative made me anxious and afraid to embrace the person that I was or the friends that I had around me. Being so negative minded was slowly eating away at my mentality and personality that every one of my friends had known and loved about me. That's what she meant about me slowly dying because of all my negative attitudes.
The day that I finally realized I needed to change myself FOR myself was the best day that I'd had in a long while. I needed to admit to myself what my problems were and I needed to admit to the people I was hurting that I wasn't intending to do so. There are too many people in this world with opinions and advice that they're dying to feed into someone's mind. But you can't please them all.
The only person that you should worry about pleasing their opinions, is yourself. If you're satisfied with what you're doing and you're pleased with the progress you're making, THAT is all that matters. It doesn't matter where you are, or who you're surrounded by. Once you can admit to yourself, that it's ok to be a little selfish and that it's ok for you to want things that other people will be hurt by you wanting, you'll actually feel a little better about yourself.
Taking care of your feelings and your emotions isn't a bad thing as long as you acknowledge the fact that the other person or people have feelings that might differ from yours. There is always going to be someone that's unhappy with your decision. Always. There's always going to be someone that doesn't want you to do what ever it is that you want to do, because they want something different. All you can do is apologize that you don't see eye to eye. And if they love you, if they truly care about you, personally, then they won't be upset at you. They'll simply support you.
Whether it's a relationship of intimacy or a plutonic relationship, that other person will always try to put themselves in your shoes to better understand you and your wants and desires. It might not be easy, but the fact that they try is what really matters. Not putting a time stamp on an intimate relationship flourishing into something more, being open minded about a situation that you've never been in, thinking outside the box when it comes to your emotions and theirs is essential.
Everyone has an opinion, and every person on this earth is entitled to that. But their opinion is all they're entitled to. No one can ever make you change your mind unless you're willing to have it changed. I know from personal experience.
One day you'll look into the eyes of a man or woman that you would do anything for. And only when you're put into that situation you're so adamant you would never ever be in, can you honestly say what you would do. Never say never. You shouldn't assume what you would or wouldn't do until you've gone through that exact situation and going through a similar one doesn't count.
I can't tell you what I have planned for next year, I couldn't even tell you what I have planned for next week. All I can tell you are the hopes that I have and the desires I'm hoping to achieve. Granted, planning might be helpful when you have a busy schedule, but please try to remember that you can't plan the journey from where you are to your destination. All you can plan on is what you hope you can accomplish from getting to point B from point A.
Just some food for thought.
-Stephanie
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